Dear WFS fans,
I apologize for not updating the WFS blog in several months. There are many reasons for my absence.
I violated my parole by getting really fucking high.
I don’t remember getting arrested but according to the police report, I was under the influence of what appeared to be LSD, or a dangerous combination of drugs. I can’t even begin to tell what I took.
The Folsom Police Department handed me over to some pariah tea party liberationists. I think they were Mormons. The sons of some Folsom originals. I got the hunch that these rogue justice types were engaged in an ethnic cleansing program in Folsom called “Operation Final Solution”. I’ve always read about the rumors on the Google, but that was just another weird Mormon conspiracy until now.
They transported me to a freezing and narrow mineshaft on some Indian reservation in the desserts of Arizona. It was impossible to climb out. The only light I saw was at noon for several minutes each day. My captors would toss down a sack of old fruit and white bread at dusk. After they all took turns spitting heaping mouthfulls of brown chaw spit on me.
One of these sick and demented captors has been giving me only Tom Rupp articles to read in my pit. Aside from the constant threat of rape, torture, gross unadulterated physical violence, and perpetual paranoia which have led to ulcers and constipation, this is my window to the outside world. Rupp’s articles tend to be more like a butthole camera looking for polups.
They took mercy on me and let me go after I convinced them that I would hate blacks and Mexicans and gays, just like them. I've had to change my name and my identity and grow dirty facial hair. But I'm back.
0 comments:
Post a Comment